Wedding Night

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe.

The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is

astonished. "Oh, oh, aaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you

are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "my picture?"

He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever."

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now."

At that the man opens his robe and she exclaimes, "oh, oh, my, let me get a picture."

He beams and asks, "why?"

She answers, "so I can get it enlarged!"

Nudist Colony

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter

from his mother asking him to send her a current photo

of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let

her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a

photo in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a

picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the

wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.  A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look short!"

Rent Money

"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor.

"You didn't do it, did you?"

"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"

State Trooper

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.

"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.

"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.

"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.

"No you weren't!" the trooper said.

With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said, 'Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."

Two Tourist

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they

stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."