Where did I come from?

"Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, "I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from."

Tie Me Up

A man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
 

So he tied her up and went golfing.

Your Eyes

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!"

Another One

The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. "Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive."
The physician dressed quickly; but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."

Four Meals

A woman went to see the doctor. Doctor: "You are looking very weak and exhausted madam? Are you properly taking the four meals a day that I advised?" Woman: "Oh my God, you said four meals? I thought you said four males!"

What's the Problem?

This old man goes to the doctor.
"Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long."
"So what's the problem?"
"I can't remember where I live."