In a trial, a
Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a
grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when
you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing
what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why
yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship
with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not
to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him".
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench, and, in a very quiet voice, said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to
the electric chair."
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